Boxing Day 2008 - The one day that is etched in my brain and heart until the day I die. The day I lost my darling Mother, my friend, my confidant ....her time was up. Born in 1926 aged 82 years and 4 months, one of 16 children, mother of 6, grandmother of 13, great grandmother of 7 when she was called home.
They say time heals when we are greeted with grief and loss, one thing I know is that life goes on and we have to learn how to deal with the cards we are dealt with. A reflection of 10 years without you.
What you taught me - sacrifice, gratitude, love of family, putting others before yourself, respect, protection of our children, endurance, faith, the power of prayer, hope and forgiveness, that two wrongs don't make a right, be the better person and walk away.
What I admired most - your tenacity, courage - for example, the loss of your father 3 days before Christmas in 1962 yet we never understood the pain you endured and dealing with future Christmases with a sadness in your heart. At the time you had 6 children one only 6 days old. The impact you made to peoples lives, the friendships you formed and the devoted love you gave to others and never ever expecting anything in return. Caring unconditionally for your mother - in - law in her final years when in actual fact you had a life time of reasons to walk away. Your beauty, intelligence and humour. Your love and pride of family.
My heart bursts with pride when I hear of stories from family and friends that have the utmost respect for you and the difference you made in their lives.
You have faced many challenges in life - Marrying just after the second world war. Raising two generations of children - covering births from late 1940 to early 1960's. Raising teenagers of the swinging sixties to the liberated 70's flower power era. The loss of very dear friends and caring for them in their time of need. Leaving your family and loved ones to move to central west in the 70's for Dads work. Raising a family on your own whilst our Dad was away earning a living.
What are my memories - Some my earliest memories are the family photos by the old lemon tree, our huge pantry packed with grocery items. Your massive baking days and the smell of home bakes treats wafting through the house. Christmas stockings hanging by the fire place. Our school uniforms hanging near the wood stove and putting our shoes in the oven so they were warm before we went to school. When the local horse races were on we used to sit on the verandah around 5pm and we had to pick who had won or lost judging by the looks on the drivers faces as they passed our home! Teaching us the game of "Ornithorynchus" We had to make as many words as possible from letters in this word. Whoever had the most words won! The competition was fierce in the family to always outdo the other siblings. Reciting your siblings in order of birth, of which I still do to this day. Bella, Bill, Mag, Jack, Tom, Kev etc.. Our weekly walks to the Warwick Cemetery to pay our respects to your parents and loved ones already passed. The family stories of the past, hence my love of family history. Volunteering at the school tuckshop, school fairs and sports days. The excitement I had as a child when coming home on the bus after a day at school and we would turn the corner into Victoria Street and you would be standing at the front gate waving and smiling with happiness. The days you were laid up in bed with blood clots and so very unwell.
The marathon 24 hr cooking activity to raise funds for Marilyn when she was an entrant in the Miss Australia quest. Sitting by my brothers bedside in one of his many bad asthma attacks hoping and praying he did not take his last breath. Saying the Rosary in the lounge room. Sunday roast dinners with the local priests. Reading books by the open fireplace. The night before Marilyns' wedding in 1973 and all the family home together with singalongs around the kitchen table. Holding my hand when I went through IVF, not saying a word, but just being there. The worry you had when I was in labour with my only child- still no words were spoken but now I understand that you were frightened for me and my unborn daughter. The tears you shed each time we had to say goodbye. The strength you displayed when you were faced with life alone after the passing of our Dad unexpectedly. The fear you had just prior to your passing, hoping that something didn't happen as it would ruin our Christmases forever and you did not want that to happen.
Some quotes I still refer to which now brings a smile and warmth to my heart thinking of you when I hear them today!
- Sticks and stones will break my bones but names shall never hurt me.
- Don't do unto others as others do to you.
- The cat can look at the Queen.
- Eat your greens.
- Crusts make your hair curly.
- Be kind
- You will have to come inside eventually and when you do I'll be waiting! (this was when I ran out side whilst avoiding the punishment for my bad behaviour)
What I miss - your voice, our weekly phone calls, Christmases together, Mothers Day, your guidance and advise, but most of all your presence, (not being here to see your grand daughter marry the love of her life and her other milestones in life).
The quote below sums up my 10 Years Without You perfectly.
It has been said that time heals all wounds, I have to disagree. The wounds remain. Time - the mind, protecting its sanity- covers them with some scar tissue, and the pain lessens but it is never gone. Rose Kennedy
You live on in my life and your blood runs through my veins. Love and Miss you Mum today and always xo
